Not in the Mood for Quiche Anymore – Lion & Unicorn Theatre, Kentish Town

Writer: Victoria Buse
Director: Mike Gyngell

Reviewer: Christine Stanton

“Swipe Right“

4 / 5

Becks thinks all her Christmases have come at once when she meets the man of her dreams on an online dating app. Tall, broad and handsome with his own business and a winning smile – sure he might disappear for days on end with no contact and have a criminal record but the good outweighs the bad, right?

The red flags are there even before she finds out about his conviction, but besotted by their potential, Becks (Laura Matthews) is willing to make allowances and brush her worries aside. The more she gets swept up in her feelings for him, the more she lets slide, unexpectedly forgiving his huge revelations and going along with his unacceptable requests. But where will it end and how will she get out of the complex web of lies and destruction she’s managed to get caught up in?

Matthews is an absolutely fantastic performer, her personable portrayal of Becks is immediately likeable as she nervously sits in the pub waiting for her date. Her monologued stream of thoughts about fancying the guy opposite her and not wanting to look too keen is brilliantly relatable, the script as a whole packed with amusing comments about dating and life in general. As the storyline gets darker, Matthews shifts Becks into having a more apprehensive, unconfident outlook, subtly but realistically showcasing the slight changes in personality when caught up in a toxic situation. The sparse set, consisting only of a few chairs and interchangeable lighting (Laura Hulme), is transformed by Matthews into a range of locations – cars, prisons and Christmas dinner table, each coming alive with the vivid descriptive imagery and believable storytelling.

It’s a strong script that keeps the audience engaged, although considering there are a few very intriguing bombshells dropped, they surprisingly fizzle out quite quickly with little ramification or conclusion. It would be wonderful if some of these threads could be explored with more depth, and have a more energised finale, as the last 15 minutes or so seem to lose their way compared to the rest of the well-defined plot points. An intriguing production with a fantastic performer at the helm.

Runs until 25th October 2025